Proverbs 11:12 gives an example of how I was, in that I had no sense.
In my heart, I planned to "come up" in many ways. But little did I know that God was leading my steps towards his plan (Proverbs 16:9).
Well, for the next 16years, God kept correcting me, as He says He will do so, every time I didnít obey (2 Cor 10:6). Every year I was locked up. I've done about 10 years behind prison walls.
My problem was that I wasnít giving my whole being over to God. Thus, not allowing God to do His work in and through me.
I already have two strikes. And because of the grace of God, I was spared from receiving my third strike. Before I received the last 2 years in prison, I cried out to God and put my whole faith (and life) I his hands. He blessed me, and I was spared from receiving 25 years in prison (1 Peter 5:6; Matthew 11:28).
I am now learning that it is ok to be weak. As long as I have Christ/ the Holy Spirit in my life. I am strong at the same time (2 Cor 12:10). I am learning that God corrects the ones He loves (Rev 3:19).
Now I must be sincere and tear away from all my past sins. I realize that it is hard to stay totally away from sin Ė for no one is perfect. But I will eventually grow strong spiritually as I fellowship with Jesus Christ daily and listen to the Holy Spirit when He convicts me.
Ephesians 4:2 shows me not to be proud. To be gentle and patient and put up with others in love. Living in sin can become a frustrating road. Yes, trying to be right and change what and who you were will be frustrating at first. But just like everything else, it takes time and patience.
In my belief, a sinner will eventually come to God when he is sick and tired of being sick and tired and he has fallen so far and all he can do is kneel and plead with God for forgiveness.
I pray that you will think about what you have already suffered and decide to start changing today. Slowly but surely, you will begin to change, as long as the spirit lives within you and you water your faith with the Word (reading the Bible) and fellowship with God daily.